and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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