Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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