Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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