I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize