are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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