Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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