Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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