I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
