this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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