Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
