the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
