i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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