one two three fourrrrnication!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
