70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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