I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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