wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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