Your dad touched me again.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
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