dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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