wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
