i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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