We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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