I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
