in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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