I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
i now understand why vodka
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
