haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
