I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i already hear my dad disowning me
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize