so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
it's like heaven, but drunker
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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