Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
