Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
