She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
