I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
