I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize