At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
