I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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