so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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