Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
