OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
