they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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