I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
