He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just want nice things and good sex
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
