Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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