His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
