My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
