Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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