Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she was so not down for the gang bang
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Randomize