I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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