Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
