JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
