His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
