You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
