this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She told me I should be a condom model.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
