I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize