Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
