he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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