And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
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