We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
How external is "for external use only"?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My dick has a subreddit
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
