I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
