remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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