Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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