brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
