I need help removing her.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
