so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
